“What’s this guy supposed to be, the ultimate badass?”
– Llewelyn Moss, No Country for Old Men
Anton Chigurh has nothing on Dave the Bear. Arnold Schwarzenegger has nothing on Dave the Bear. The Four Horseman of the Apocalypse have absolutely nothing on Dave the Bear.
America, if you want a Bear to take down Trump, Dave the Bear is your saviour. His beard would eat Chuck Norris for breakfast and then use ZZ Top as a tooth floss. Badass.
As anyone who has seen him will know, Dave the Bear really is that good. He’s a fantastic, wonderful, thunderbolt of a performer. Fun, rugged, rampant and raunchy, how many more words do you need? Whether he’s dressed up as a Pirate or a Gladiator, Dave kicks ass.
As you’ll see, when it’s come to the interview, we’ve played the straight man, the Bear’s played the funny Bear.
Ladies and Gentlemen…Dave the Bear!
How and when did the Bear come into existence? And what was the first performance like?
It must have been around 2009. I started my burlesque career in the legendary troupe Bearlesque. I was taught the tricks of the trade by the Godfather of Bears, Fred Bear. After they broke up I went solo; I was always the Louise Nurding of the troupe. I was quite cutesy back in the day – now I’m just a (really hot) slut.
What is it actually like being onstage (or within the crowd) performing to a packed audience?
Easy, and fun, just like me. Once you have created your act and perfected it, it is a joy to put it out there and see where it goes. I snog a lot of audience members, that bit is enjoyable. I do have a habit of breaking things while I’m out there too, glasses, tables, hearts….
Which of your acts is the most fun to perform?
I love doing my Fantasy act as I let the audience choose the music, this month alone I’ve done it to Gett Off by Prince and George Formby’s When I’m Cleaning Windows. But I love doing every one of my acts, they are all very silly. I like performing on bars, Coyote Ugly style, and smashing everything up.
If you had an unlimited budget to create an act (including props and costumes), what would you create and where in the whole world (past and present) would you perform? And who for?
It would be in Port Royal in the latter half of the 17th Century at one of the notorious pirate meetings there, that would be pretty fly. I’m a huge fan of pirates and anything nautical, and that was the place to be. Plus I recently read a great porn book based there… Yummy. On a completely different note, I would love to have my own show in Carnegie Hall, preferably in the 1950’s.
Your list of gigs for 2016 stretches a long way – are you hardest working Bear in the business?
Yeah, probably, although a lot of bears work harder behind the scene I’m sure, I’m just the absolutely gorgey face of it. It does take a lot of work though, I gig about four times a week, plus all the admin, creating new acts, coming up with new material, photo shoots, eating KFC, being a heart throb. It can get exhausting.
What other fun and games do you get up to and what is coming next for you?
A lot of singing at the moment. I’m signed to an indie label and have had a few singles out. I’m currently working on some new stuff, should be out later in the year, it’s very miserable and bluesy. I also have a lot of solo singing gigs and a 10 piece band I gig with too. I like traveling and I like ships and I like big hairy men, so I’m hoping to fit some more of that in this year too.
Finally, sum up your whole show in one or two words:
Boners indeed. If you want to see more evidence of the boner inducing bear, then please romp along to davethebear.com. You can also find him on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram…he’s easy to find…just look for the ‘Big Hairy Growler’.