Hundred Watt Club
Jackson’s Lane, Highgate, London, 3 May 2025
Lineup: Cheryl Coal (aka Lena Lenman), Gina Stirling, Amazi, Klaus from Stuttgart (aka Charlie Partridge), Aurora Starr, Thee Supernovah. (Note: we don’t have any images but if you click on the performer names you’ll be transported to their Instagram pages.)
It’s been a while since we’ve been to a burlesque show, let alone the Hundred Watt Club, so in one sense it’s almost a comeback. Actually, it’s probably more of a potential pre-comeback. But anyway, wherever they are, whatever they’re doing, it’s always triffic to be in the warm, enjoyable arms of the Hundred Watt Club. So let’s get on with the show!
There’s a real humwum before the show tonight: people chattering and a low, subtle rumble. The outfits are pretty fun for a spring evening in north London: fancy shirts, cocktail dresses, some things subtle, some things loud.
And speaking of loud, it’s Cheryl Coal bounding onto the stage to kick off Act I!
Lordy, look at those big oompa-loompa eyebrows, the fake tan, the Toon army shirt made out of sequins… madness. And mayhem. Madness AND mayhem. Lots of it!
‘Me and the family save our pennies in a quality street jar,’ says Cheryl, ‘then we buy a Megabus ticket and we all go on a tour to the top five Gregg’s! It’s a Gregg’s pleasure tour… and me, M’ma, M’five dads… we ended up in Highgate… and guess what? No effin’ Gregg’s!’
Oof!
‘Some rules for the show,’ says Cheryl:
‘… rule number one: no wanking!
… rule number two: no touching the performers!
… and rule number three: performers feed off your applause, so let’s start with a little rumble…’
Rumble-rumble-rumble…
Roar!
‘We’ve got a star lineup, it’s absolutely mint!’ says Cheryl. ‘Our first act is…’
Gina Stirling!
Gina slides seductively onto the stage and into the spotlight. Tall, slender curves, sequin dress, elegant hair.
There’s an ethereal stillness: a hallucination, slipping sweetly; a drift of perfume from out of the shadows.
Slow calming dance moves floating in a milky blue light: a swish, a sweep, a slide.
But then:
Big trumpets burst out of the speakers!:
‘Brah brah brah!’
Bottom boop! Gloves off!
‘Brah brah brah!’
Hips swinging, music singing, body going swish, swish, swish!
The dress splits in two, the skirt comes off!
Arse shake! Buttock shake! Woo!
Gina’s getting warmer: she slides her hand down her leg before rising her hand back up…
She’s dancing, feeling; tish-touch, tushy-touch.
‘Brah brah brah!’
The crowd’s murmuring, murmuring rising. The crowd’s whooping, whooping rising. A murmur, a whoop, a whoop piercing the murmur.
The night is gaining temperature, it’s bubbling wild, bubbling frisky.
Gina gives the hands up finger signal:
1
Rumble building…
2
Rumble feeling…
3
Rumble, rumble, rumble…
Corset off!
Woo!
And Gina spins a spin-spin-spin.
She sweeps and slides, her body collides with the light and the sound.
Arse shake, cheeky bottom…
Hey!
Big BOOM of applause and an onrushing RUMBLE ‘n’ THUNDER
Cheryl: ‘Wow, how do we feel about Gina?’
Crowd: ‘Woo!’
‘This next act is mint!’ says Cheryl, as a clutch of gold rings appear on stage. ‘We’re gonna build up to this one. This side of the room (pointing to crowd left): “A-may”! This side of the room (pointing to crowd right): “Zi”
Crowd: Amazi>>>><<<>>><<<>>><<<<Amazi
Amazi!
Jumping across the stage with a bloody big grin, Amazi flings a hoop around her waist and starts to swing…
[Music: Hot Stuff]
Swing, swoop, swing, swoop!
With her cheeky smile, Amazi’s a shimmying mystery mischief maker; her body shaking, boop, boop, boop.
Amazi picks up a hoop, two hoops, three hoops, slips all of them over body. It’s a collection of Donna Summer’s disco earrings.
So get ready!
1, 2, 3
Spin! Spin! Spin!
Spiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnn! 000000000000000000
And now another ring… it’s a four ring spin!
0000000000000000000000000000000000
Rumble-rumble-rumble from the crowd.
Rings go flying… all over the stage
Whoop! Whoop! Whoop!
Roar!
But wait!
There’s more!
A fuck load more!
A least a hundred thousand rings! No, a million!
A million rings all spinning wildly around Amazi!
00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
It’s a disco ball of rings gaining speed around Amazi, her body becoming a golden blur.
Amazi spins, flings, does the splits…
Looks to the crowd:
Woohoo!
Incredible. Amazi smiles, blows kisses and zips off the stage into the darkness.
I think the air is still ringing.
Anyway, Cheryl’s back, so what’s new?
‘This is my boyfriend Jimmy,’ says Cheryl as a man in a pinstripe suit shuffles on and off stage.
‘Jimmy, do you want to say hello to the crowd?’
‘No, I don’t!’ says Jimmy.
Fair dos. Clearly some sort of tiff going on.
Anyway, who’s up next?
‘We’re going to learn a little bit about culture with our next act… give a warm welcome to Aurora Starr!’
Aurora walks softly onto the stage, her elegant and colourful red kimono dress illuminated in the lights. Aurora is holding a couple of fans, there’s electronic music simmering away, slowly rising to a boiling heat.
Aurora slinks slowly, a natural rhythm taking place.
The fans come out, scything and slicing through the air.
There’s some tease and a little temptation.
As the costume comes off the performance starts to evolve…
A skirt here, a top there, all of them fluttering away serenely.
Twisting, turning, the act keeps moving.
In the flickering lights there is a vision; something mythical and mystical… a mirage emerges – a mirage of a neon cyber goddess; colours vivid, colours wild, she’s swinging seductively in the twinkling night air. It feels like a miracle or a 5am vision when you’ve been out all night. There’s a mischievous glory to it: you want it to be real and forever in your eyeline.
What wonders!
‘Woo! Learning culture is really cool,’ says Cheryl as she tiptoes back onto the stage.
And this time Jimmy has also returned, bearing the gift of an ironing board with electronic equipment all over it. Is it safe? Who knows, could go up in a bigly fireball. Anyway…
‘This next act is a world famous DJ… and we all like a rave! So give us an ooh!’
‘Ooh!
‘Give us an aahh!’
‘Aahh!’
‘Ooh! Aahh! Ooh! Aahh!’
Klaus from Stuttgart!
Klaus is all spruced and trussed up – enamelled. He’s slipped into a silver jacket and manly meggings with heels. Looks like a dangerous dancefloor dynamo.
There’s a beatbox slowly puffing into action allowing us some background to keep ourselves warm.
‘Great to be here in this beautiful Edwardian building,’ says Klaus. ‘… it’s a good thing the Germans left it alone in the blitz. You’re welcome!’
And the beatbox babbles and brooks: wump, wump, wump…
There’s psychedelic sounds, some German words, it’s a melange of language and audible gyration.
‘Lots of people say, “that’s not real German!” well of course it’s not fucking real!’
Wump-wump-wump-mow-wow-wow…
This sorta sexual pseudo-German is sorta disarming, kind of charismatic:
‘Do you think I’m real German? If you think so, then give me a big Ja! If you don’t think I am, then give me a big fucking no!’
‘Jaaaaaaaaaaa!’
‘Oh, stop it!’
As the wump-wump-wump-wow-wow-wow continues, Klaus fiddles with his board of beastly beats:
‘Ooh, mow-mow-mow.’
‘Wanna roll about with you…
Wump-wump-wump-wow-wow-wow.
And finally some crowd interaction:
‘I say sensual, you say consensual…’
‘I say sensual, you say consensual…’
‘Sensual’
‘Consensual’
‘Sensual’>>><<<’Consensual’ ‘Sensual’>>><<<’Consensual’
‘Love it!’ says Klaus.
Cheryl bounds back on stage. It seems she’s going to have a go at burlesque!
This could be fun, this could be…
A remix of Axel F rips out of the speakers…
Leading to some boink-boink-boink from Cheryl.
This is not burlesque, it’s it’s…
GEORD-LESQUE!
Like a Geordie fighting for a pint (or some jeans) in a pub.
Geord-geord-geord-Barge-barge-barge.
‘Do you wanna see m’tits?!’ says Cheryl.
Crowd woops yes!
Boobs say, ‘let’s go!’
Some chaotic dance moves follow: geord-lesque-barge-lesque-geord-lesque-barge-lesque. There’s fitness fist pumps, an attack of angular eighties shoulder swoop action, the tassels go flying, somewhere circuit boards are frying.
Tease Louise this is going over the edge like Thelma and Louise!
The show spins furiously until the final moments when the coup de grace – like the Ark of the Covenant – is apocalyptically unleashed…
KNICKERS PULLED UP INTO A LEOTARD!
Rumble-rumble-rumble!
Wey aye!
INTERVAL
Act II
Leotard long abandoned Cheryl blasts onto the stage in a sequin Toon army ball gown (oof). She’s got long purple gloves on and is clearly ready to rumble.
‘This feels like a party… what do we need for a party…
… I feel like we need party balloons…’
And for that we need:
Amazi!
Amazi slips back onto the stage, she has a balloon in one hand and a rose in the other. She threatens the balloon: balloon, rose, pop the balloon!
But now Amazi unpacks a much bigger looking balloon. Sort of like a giant whoopee cushion.
Amazi has a go at blowing it up: puff, puff, puff, nah!
That will take all night. Some harnessed power is required.
Amazi pulls out a hot air machine and starts to blast the balloon full of air.
The balloon becomes bigger and bigger.
It’s a bloody big balloon!
Is it gonna blow?
No!
Will it make us go ‘whoah!’
Yo!
The balloon is huge, almost big enough to carry someone away.
Amazi puts the hot air machine down and and and… starts to push her head inside the balloon!
It’s a body with a big balloon head.
Amazi dances around stage; a wriggle this way, a tiptoe that.
All while Amazi pushes herself further into the balloon, further and further until she’s all the way inside it!
Wow!
Amazi bops and bounces around until her head pushes through from inside the balloon.
The bouncing bop continues. Funky balloon, cheeky balloon, mischief balloon.
But, oh no!
Jimmy arrives on stage. He picks up the previously discarded rose… will he burst the balloon?
Yes, no, maybe…
Kaboom!
There’s rubber all over the place.
Amazi waves, blows kisses and runs off the stage.
There really is balloon all over. Hopefully it won’t get in the way of Klaus from Stuttgart as he’s back for round two.
‘We’re going to play a game and I’m going to need three people from the audience,’ says Klaus rather adamantly.
And he gets them: Josh, Virginia and Elsha!
And what of the game? It’s a tape measuring contest. Each contestant takes the tape measure with the aim being to see who can extend the tape the furthest.
And what of the prize? A duo of fairy cakes (possibly not gluten free).
First up: Josh! John extends slowly, slowly, slowly before it droops.
Total measure: 236cm.
Next up: Virginia! Virginia extends slowly, slowly, slowly…getting high, getting higher… it’s a really accurate angle… oh, it’s dropped.
Total measure: 269cm.
Finally: Elsha! Elsha extends slowly, slowly, slowly… going higher and higher, almost into the rafters. Incredible.
Total measure: 285cm!
And the winner is Elsha!
Cheryl Coal’s back and there’s gonna be trouble, hey-na, hey-na… Cheryl’s back…
‘This next act is a new act but she’s already absolutely amazing… give a warm welcome to…’
Thee Supernovah!
Thee Supernovah slips seamlessly onstage before merging with the light. She’s wearing a sequin dress and there’s some slow smouldering moves. It’s elegant, tranquil but with that element of an imminent explosion behind it.
And there is!
Supernovah!
Disco music, dance-dance-dance.
Spin, spin, spin, shimmy-shimmy-shimmy.
Thumping bass, shaking bottom!
The skirt slips freely, swishes around Supernovah’s waist and off into the air.
There’s a reverse spin, a slow grind, a slow peel to slip off the corset.
Stars and sparks bursting, filling the stage with energy and excitement.
Supernovah’s rampant, buzzing beautifully towards the end of the performance.
Bottom shake, body shake, top off!
Woohoo!
Cheryl:
‘That was great! And only Thee Supernovah’s second show. I’m just going to give a quick shout out to the Black Burlesque School, Sadie Sinner and the Cocoa Butter Club. Go have a look at them online because they’re amazing!’
Grand!
And now there’s some movement on the stage behind Cheryl: a crescent moon has appeared hanging from the ceiling above the centre of the stage.
And what is this moon for?
It’s for:
Aurora Starr!
[Music: Great Gig in the Sky]
Aurora enters the stage in a sweeping dress. There’s some slow tease to start. It’s sensual and seductive, elegant and classy.
Aurora reaches up for the moon, clasps hold, swings herself onto it and hangs upside down.
Ta da!
Gasps from the crowd as Aurora begins to swing.
She’s swinging slowly, slowly swinging in the moon.
And Aurora returns to earth, shifting and sweeping around the stage. There’s a tease-tease-tease.
And now Aurora’s reaching up and back on the moon.
She’s slowly hanging, her legs stretching out and reaching around for miles and miles and miles. And Aurora shifts, manoeuvres herself – legs and feet curling around the crescent moon. There’s anticipation building: the spin accelerates, becoming a fury, launching further into a frenzy! It’s an aerodynamic act of immense dedication.
And voila!
What sweet sensations: a moonlight mystery spun furiously into fantasy!
Cheryl has reappeared and slipped into her Lena Lenman (the lady behind the Hundred Watt Club) alter ego:
‘I’ve been wanting to bring the show to London for years and to finally bring it… this has been a big deal for me and I felt the warmth as soon as I stepped on stage. So, thank you!’
‘Our final act is absolutely mint! Give a welcome once again to…’
Gina Stirling!
Here we go…
Gina slips sweetly onto the stage. There’s a flowing dress and a huge arrangement of feathers. Gina begins to pick up the rhythms.
A top tease, bottom tease, boo-boo-boo!
A slow moving on the hips, Gina flicks the feathers off her shoulders.
Whipcrack moves, deltas, darts, shooting stars.
Rumble, rumble, rumble.
Now Gina’s moving faster, you might say possessed.
There’s a slice to left, a slink to the right.
Down to the ground and stretched right out, she does the splits and flicks back up.
The act is running high and so is the crowd.
Boop-boop-bottom-boop-boop!
As the fury slows back into a sensual seduction, Gina begins to slow dance. Picking the feathers back up, Gina wraps them around her shoulders. The end mirrors the start and the start mirrors the ending.
Rumble, rumble, rumble… ROAR!
Woohoo!
The audience spilling itself all over itself!
Cheryl & Jimmy are back for one last fling, a final number to uncover the source of their tiff. And we’re going to find out through song… Ain’t No Doubt by Jimmy Nail. A Geordie classic!
Which is cool because they’re playing Geordie dodgems on the stage… Cheryl reaches out, Jimmy runs off. Cheryl tries to make amends, Jimmy ducks and dives…
This Geordie dodgems act continues through the song. Run, slip, slide, duck, dive, hide.
But eventually, Jimmy is caught – cornered. There’s no escape from Cheryl Coal – not even high-pitched soul vocals can help save Jimmy. But!
The promise of something naughty has him enamoured.
What that something is…
Well, if you want to find out what that something naughty is…
… you’ll have to catch the live show!
Fin
https://www.hundredwattclub.com/
https://www.instagram.com/100wattclub/
Mardi Gras Magazine 