The Apothecary: Periphery
17th May, 2019
LOU SAFIRE, MR TRICK & MISS TREAT, PEARL GREY, ROMEO DE LA CRUZ, KITTY HARVEY, FREDDIE DOES PUPPETS, BELLA AGOGO, LOUI VON DINI, HP LOVESHAFT
Aaaaaaaaannnnnnnd we’re baaaaaaack! As big and bad and beautiful as ever. It’s Friday night, it’s The Apothecary at The Albany.
Sexy times, funny times, time to have some funny sexy adventures.
There’s definitely some of them in this show 😉
Whoah! Who’s up? Who first? Who goes there? Who is that?
It’s MARIPOSA BOP!
Warmly welcoming everyone to the show with her warm Welsh accent while stealing the front row’s cold Prosecco!
Whoah, who’s this!
Something Wicked This Way Comes…
The Renegade Stripper is our host for the show tonight…
“I can do what I want!”
Yes, you can!
Dis is also showing a lot of bottom and booty agogo!
Speaking of A GO GO…
Bella arrives on stage dressed up like she’s selling cheeky sweets in the cinema…
There’s popcorn going everywhere…all over her face, into the front row, into the second row…the popcorn’s flying, hurled in every direction…it’s a popcorn extravaganza!
Nom! Nom! Nom!
After that sweet and satisfying endeavour…here’s another one:
LOUI VON DINI!
Lights down, hi-vis jacket up! It’s an airport worker raving their face off! There’s colour and chaos and all sorts of badassery going on here…light balls twirling and flying through the air…
ZOOM! ZOOM! ZOOM!
There’s a huge smile on Loui’s face…is this what happens at airports? I’d like to think so. I also think airline pilots would probably crash on purpose just to watch the flames with all this psychedelia going on (hell, pilots are probably all on speed and vodka miniatures anyway).
Oh, and cool xylophone!
But what could possibly top that? And who?
FREDDIE DOES PUPPETS!
In which…Chalky’s attacked by a puppet…
But he did survive (just about)…look at him below:
Puppets are something that are not too common these days. Those of us over 35 probably remember seeing them everywhere…have they been banned?
Anyway, Freddie and her puppets…FUCKING AWESOME! Here’s the link to her page.
How the hell do you follow Freddie and her puppets and Chalky being attacked by Freddie and her puppets?
HP arrives on stage looking most elegant…a little jazz music plays in the background…it’s a sweet affair…gentlemenly yet decadent…opulent yet restrained…
And then look what happened…
Which is the type of fun we’re all here for anyway!
Oh, who up next up?
MR TRICK AND MISS TREAT!
And for this a double act…two lovers…in days gone past lovers would have sent each other letters by arrow or messenger or via a messenger with an arrow in him…not now, not today…today we sext…and then phone companies spy on us…the filthy poo-perves.
Anyway, the two lovers…they sext, they bicker, they smoke, they joke, they suck, they
First up in the second half of the show is a veritable sweetheart…
Not looking too happy about those sweets…Pearl Grey doesn’t like Roses…and with that:
BOOM! Sweets go flying everywhere!
BOUNCE! RATTLES! SPLAT!
The sweets are being stomped! There’s chocolate and filling allover the faces of the crowd…
And with that…
I’m not going to ruin Kitty’s stand up by putting it in print. She’s very funny – go see her! You can catch her on 12 July at Late Night Laughs, Comedy East @One Mile End. You can see more of her upcoming stand up show dates on her Twitter page.
ROMEO DE LA CRUZ!
Wowsers! Romeo is having a whole ton of fun on this stage tonight. It’s steamy, a little S&My, there’s chains and restraints and all kinds of sensual body movements.
There’s something stirring in the back rooms of the Apothecary Cabaret’s minds…there’s a brewing, yes, a fiendish brewing…
And who’s that brewing?
Bella sweeps from the moody blackness and onto the stage wearing an incredible mask and cape…
That mask if fucking impressive? You must be impressed, entertained, enchanted, enthralled, bewitched, locked up tight like a latex love gimp in a small steel container?
I thought so, you are aren’t you…
Bella moves wickedly…the performance is big and bold, but that’s too tame a word play…it’s A TITAN of a show piece…devilishly dark and yet darker than that…this is something from beyond the Devil..it has fire in its veins, lava in its eyes, your blood and that of many of your friends and family souls running through its blackened beating heart…
And with a symphonic flourish the lights go down.
Hmmmmmm…and with that, darkness has descended onto the stage…the room is quiet…a mood is brewing…someone or something…a God perhaps…is stepping onto the stage from out of the shadows…
And who is this fellow, this alluring apparition?
The lights flicker, illuminate the room…and who do we see?
Lou Safire swishes and sweeps his fans…they’re elegant…and a little bit devious…these fans could slice flesh if given the opportunity.
Will the front row survive? Will they fall in love? Will they fall apart?
Lou continues to swish, swish, swish…
Thanks Apothecary, we love you!
All photos by JME-Photoart